Friends?

Dear Best Friend,

You and I have been best friends since 9th grade. I think you’re amazing. And an asshole. Yes, definitely an asshole in that cocky, confident, annoying, drive me insane but I  don’t really want to get rid of kind of way. You said I needed to stop with the Grey’s Anatomy quotes because it’s a “lame” show, but this one is so aptly perfect:

We’re friends, real friends. And that means, no matter how long it takes, when you finally decide to look back, I’ll still be here.

You’re my person. And I so happy you’re still a part of my life. You center me. Help me find my balance. You push me to be better. To do what is best for me. It drives you insane that sometimes I don’t have boundaries with other people and that I have a hard time saying “no”. So, you push me. And I need that. Someone to believe in me. In my potential. So, you’re my best friend. I think you’re great. 

But my affection lies a bit deeper than that. I am very much, awe-inspiringly, soul-matey, best friendy, didn’t mean to for it to happen, in love with you. But i can’t tell you this. Ever. And I’m not ready to have you completely gone from my life so, I’m going to write you letters. Letters that are achingly truthful from my perspective in this ridiculously confusing thing called life. Letters that my heart wishes it could tell you. If my heart could speak. Letters I know you’ll never read. But in this space, I’ll let my heart speak to yours. 

From me, with 💕,

– A